The Wisdom of Insecurity Draft

Alan W. Watts has adressed the issue of anxiety of today modern society. This anxiety caused my various situations in our modern busy lives. He writes, "We have been accustomed to make this existence worth-while by the belief that there is more than an outward appearance-that we live for a future beyond this life here." What he means by the, is that in today modern society, we always try to push ourselves to create a better life for.us in the future. People do this in many different ways. Religious or not, we find ourselves doing this sometimes even subconciously. In the case of religious people, they thrive to do good deeds, and keep from doing sins for what? So that they will get into heaven or a better afterlife. This is a bigger veiw, but what about people who are not religious? They do it too. For example, the average college student. He or she let's college kick their butt so that they will be able to get a better job and make a better life for themselges. I think that Watts writes this book to help us realize. To help us us realize the over activity of our modern day lives. To help us realize that we do all of this for something that may it may not actually happen or come true. There are mAy suggestive themes throughout the book so far that back up thus idea if over activity in our lives, and the anxiety if what is yet to come. Because we do not know what is yet to come we try to make it the best in the future, but while doing that sometimes making our present lives suck.

Response to Vignette Project

I was looking over Stanley Anderson's Vignette Project, and I found something that caught my eye. He talks about many things that happened to him between 6th and 9th grade, and I found myself relating to a lot of it. Maybe it was because I was friends with him whole a lot of this stuff was going o, but maybe not. As I read through his vignettes, I came to the conclusion that friends meant a lot to him as he was living this time of his life. In the majority of his vignettes, he talks about girls and school. I think that this represents not only the obvious in his life, but maybe the not so obvious. Maybe just maybe girls and school are a metaphor for something much larger. Symbolizing his entire life story in a couple of short vignettes. As a friend of his, I can definatley relate to these things that he talks about. Now moving onto Christy's Vignette project. She writes, "I promised myself that I would try to be confident and leave my quietness/shyness behind. New school , New beginnings, New friends. I knew that I didn't want to be the old Christy. That one that turns bright red, the one that stutters during author’s chair." To me, this explained a lot about what some of us went through, and maybe still going through as we made this huge transition between middle school and high school. She talks about being shy and not really wanting to reach out and apply yourself, and I found myself really relating to that. I know that may be hard to believe at first because of my loud and outgoing personality. But I was shy and a little bit scared as I made this huge transition. Both Stan and Christy in a way summed up how I felt through out middle school and through out the transition between 8th and 9th grade. I feel that they both did a wonderful job addressing the problems that teen agers face during this time of their lives.

What would Cisneros Say?

According to the book, I believe that Sandra Cisneros believes that boys and girls should be raised differently. From reading the book I get the impression that Cisneros believes that they need to be sheltered and protected. Protected from guys and from life. For example Esperanza says, “Sally, make him stop. I couldn’t make them go away…why did you leave me all alone? I waited my whole life.” (P.99) This shows that she feels that girls should be protected from boys especially around the teenage years. I feel that maybe this is how Cisneros was raised, so maybe that is why she chose to put this part in the book. Another example is on page 8. She says, “The boys and girls live in separate worlds. The boys in their universe and we in ours.” This is a result to being raised differently. Overall, this is just a couple of examples that I can find throughout the book. All of this evidence proves that Saundra Cisneros believes that girls should be more protected and sheltered from the outside world. Even though I may not believe in this from my point of view, this is what I fell that Saundra Cisneros was trying to tell us in her writing of the book. 

Whats Next For Esperanza?

After reading the last four vignettes, I have gotton a different perspective on what Esperanza has in store for the rest of her life. On page 110 she says, "They will not know I have gone away to come back. For the ones I left behind. For the ones who cannot out." By this, I think she means that she is leaving the house on mango street, but she will return. She will return not too stay, but instead return to help. Help all of the people that helped her. Help them leave their houses on mango street, and make a better life for them and their families. She tells us that she us leaving mango street, but to do what? In page 110 as well she says,"One day I will pack my bags of books and paper." Even though she has not left yet, when she does I believe that she wants to make the best life for herself that she can. When she talks about taking her books and paper, I get the impression that she wants to further her education. I believe that she wants to do this for a couple of reasons. First, so that she can make a better life for herself. Secondly, so that she can support her family and maybe children in the future. And Lastly, so that she help the people who helped her get away from Mango street. My understanding from the book, was that Mango street was somewhat of the slums of where she lived. This does not mean that Esperanza was a bad person, but she needed to get out of there. This was not the kind of life she wanted. She wanted a better education so that she can get a good job, and get her family out of these slums. That is how I understood the prompt, and this is why I believe that Esperanza wanted and/or needed to get away from the little house on Mango St.

A little taste of My Life

Tina
        Tina. My grandma Tina. My Dad’s mom, and my grandpa’s wife. She was diagnosed with stage four cancer which had spread all throughout her body. She fought it as long as she could, but the time came. The time came that she had to let go, and learn the unknown. She moved on and learned what comes after life. She passed away roughly six years ago, and we all miss her dearly. When my mother gave me news that she had passed away, it was at that point that I realized something. I realized probably the most important thing in life that I will ever learn. I discovered the important of my family. It was at that point in my life just eight years old, that I realized how much my family meant to me. You never really realize how important something is, and how lucky you are until you lose someone or something. I have never looked at my family as my support group, my shoulder to cry on, my life until now. To this day, I look at my family as my life, and that will never change. No matter how many family issues we have, no matter how annoying, rude, or audacious they can get, I will always love them to death.


Marriage

I remember the day. That day that my mom said she had something to talk to me about and pulled out a plastic twenty-five cent toy ring. That was the day that she told me that Kevin had proposed. Proposed with a plastic toy ring. This confused me. Was this a joke? I knew that they were serious about each other, but a toy ring? My mom asked,  “How would you feel if Kevin and I got married?” I was happy, because Kevin had always been really nice to me, but still didn’t fully understand the situation. I thought people proposed with real rings, you know with diamonds and rubies and stuff. My mom explained why she was holding a toy ring. Kevin didn’t want to buy her a ring that she didn’t like, so he got her the toy one, until they could go and get a real one. Then came time for the dress, suit, and wedding. It was a small wedding simple with not many people but nice and sweet. That was about five years ago, and I will never forget the day. I will never forget this day, because this was the day that I realized one of the most important things that. I realized that no one could replace my father (who I still see 2-3 days a week), but another father figure could be a part of my life.

My Name

        My name is nothing special to the average person, but to my family and I it is somewhat traditional. Cameron, my first name is nothing special. It’s is the only name that both my parents could agree on. My mom wanted to name me after my Dad, but my Dad was not having it. My first middle name James, is a tradition for all of the grand children on my Dad’s side of the family. My second middle name is Phillips, which is my mother’s madden name. Actually her birth last name was LaJoie, but it was changed to Phillips when she was two years old. Lastly, my last name is Leahy which just about as Irish you can get. In Ireland, Leahy means king of kings or something like that, but my Dad’s side of the family is truly Irish. Long story short, my name is nothing special to everyone else, but me and my family it is something special.



I Was Positive, But Wrong
        I had never felt anything so strong in my life. Everything in life felt like a dream. Things were so perfect. I had never felt anything like this in my life. I was positive that she was the one. I was positive at the age of fourteen. Maybe I was just caught up in the heat of the moment, which is probably what was happening. When the time came, the time to put this wonderful thing to an end. Why? Why did one of the best things that ever happened to me have to stop. I wanted this forever. I guess life isn’t perfect. I didn’t see her for three weeks because I went to Europe. That was probably the best three weeks of my life, but something was wrong. She was not with me. I was ecstatic to be back home and see her and my family, and I thought everything was fine. A week later all my happiness soon came to an end. Of course I got over it, but I wish I never had too. She is still my best friend, but I wish so much more than that. Life is not perfect, and I cant get everything I want. We will see how it goes from here.

Clouds & Sky Symbolism (Due: 3/11/11)

Clouds and sky are a recurring theme throughout the book, that my classmates as well as myself picked up on.  I believe that clouds and sky are a sign of freedom and hope to Esperanza. I feel like her hope has diminished throughout her life, because of emotional insecurity due to hormones and growing up. She discusses much insecurity about herself, and relationship status. She wants a man that will hold her and be there for her, and for the majority of the book she does not find the right person. On page 60-61, she writes this poem:

            “I want to be

              bike the waves on the sea

              like the clouds in the wind,

              but I’m me.

              One day I’ll jump

              out of my skin.

              I’ll shake the sky

              like a hundred violins.”

As you can see, she sees the sky and clouds as a place of freedom, and a place that she can escape. I think that she feels trapped in her body which is a major sign of insecurity. Another example of this,  is on page 33. She says, “You can never have too much sky. You can fall asleep and wake up drunk on sky, and sky can keep you safe when you are sad.” This shows that when she thinks about or looks at the sky, she feel safe. This proves that clouds and sky are a form of security and comfort to her, and that is why it comes up so much in the book. The last example that supports this theory, is on page 82. She states, “And if you opened the little window latch and gave it a shove, the window would swing open, all the sky would come in.” This quote raises a question. She brings up windows again, which is another piece of symbolism the author uses. Maybe open windows scare her, and she feels that open windows crush any hope, security, and comfort she has, and that is why she says this in the book.

            Of course, there is no real way to find this out for a fact. And there is a chance that clouds and sky does not mean anything at all, and we are just imagining things. Either way, there is good evidence supporting the idea of clouds and sky as symbolism, and I strongly believe that the author put this in the book for a reason.